


Nightmares wake me up at night

by thoughtfullyyoungduck



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Adult Eddie Kaspbrak, Adult Richie Tozier, Angst, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtfullyyoungduck/pseuds/thoughtfullyyoungduck
Summary: Eddie has a nightmare, Richie comforts him
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Reddie - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 78





	Nightmares wake me up at night

Eddie-bear, you wouldn’t ever leave me would you? Would you?

Eddie heaves a breath, shooting up in bed, his eyes wildly searching his bedroom. The only thing he can think about is the fact that he can’t breathe. He’s trying, as best as he can, remembering the tricks his psychologist told him, the tricks he practiced with Richie, but it’s no use. His hands subconsciously outstretching into his nightstand, reaching for his placebo inhaler. He knows though, knows he doesn’t need it, that it was something his mother forced into his head, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t stick.

He’s been working on it with his psychologist, and with Richie and all the other losers, and he’s getting better. He truly is, but in moments like these, were it feels as if his mother is physically reaching up from her grave to wrap her fingers around his neck, that doesn’t matter. He needs his inhaler, because he’s still not getting any air.

He realizes, in the back of his mind, that he doesn’t have his inhaler anymore. At least not in his nightstand. He got rid of it just last week, as an angry response to Sarah, the name of his psychologist, who had told him that keeping his placebo around was him trying to keep a part of his mother with him, and he had angrily tossed it out before he even had a chance to over think it. Richie had looked so proud he remembered.

Richie was the best boyfriend anyone could ever wish for, though Eddie would never admit that to his face, because then his ego might blow up. He never pushed Eddie for anything. He gently coerced him to try new things, but he let Eddie set his own pace, and if Eddie wasn’t ready for something, he never made him feel guilty for it.

That’s why Richie had never asked Eddie to get rid of his inhaler. In fact, Eddie was pretty sure Richie still kept one with him in case he would need it. It was sweet gesture, and Eddie appreciated it, because he knew Richie did it from a place of love. Still though, when Eddie had tossed his inhaler away, he had asked Richie to get rid of his too. Richie had nodded, and said he would, but Eddie knew for a fact that Richie had put it in one of the kitchen cabinets, because Richie wasn’t perfect, and he could be a lazy son-of-a-bitch sometimes. Because it was already dark by the time Eddie asked Richie to dispose of it, he hadn’t wanted to walk downstairs to the trash container, and had most likely convinced himself that he would do it the next day, only to completely forget about it.

Eddie felt like a cheater. Richie, though he didn’t say as much, looked so proud that Eddie was taking the step of getting rid of his fake medicine. Eddie could sense it by the way he came up behind Eddie, pressing a kiss on the top of his head, a bright smile beaming through. Eddie knew that he could always result to the inhaler in the cabinet though, so he didn’t really count it as a win, and he felt guilty for making Richie believe he was getting better.

After Eddie’s nightmare though, he didn’t care. He jumped up from the bed, his throat seemingly closing up more as time went on. His legs seemed to be tangled in the sheets, and Eddie nearly groaned out in frustration, but stopped short once someone else’s groan came out first. He looked quickly, his hands twisted tightly into the sheets. Richie was moving around, throwing his arm around the place Eddie had just been sleeping, but Eddie was sat up in bed, so his arms landed back n the bed. In his panic, Eddie had forgotten Richie was sleeping with him in bed, and now he wanted nothing more but the hug Richie as close as he could.

Richie needed his sleep though, he had been working very hard, and it was rare that he had a good nights rest. Eddie knew that Richie would want him to wake him up, Richie would die before he let anything happen to Eddie, but he still couldn’t breathe, and he knew that he needed to get out of here, not to mention the fact that he needed his medicine, and he didn’t want Richie to know that he had give in to his mother induced fears.

He finally managed to untangle his legs, and jumps out, slowly opening his door as to not wake Richie up. He’s fallen back asleep, his head buried in Eddie’s pillow. If Eddie had the mind to actually process that, he would have smiled. As it is, Eddie closed the door again, speed walking towards where he needs to be.

Eddie’s panting, as if he had just run a marathon, fumbling with the cabinet’s door. He can still hear his mother’s words in the back of his mind, even though he can’t remember what the dream was about. He doesn’t need to really, he heard the words all the time growing up as a child, he doesn’t need to hear them again to remember.

It’s crazy, how he forget about his friends for so long, how he forget the love of his life, but he could still remember the lies and hurt his mom caused him. Eddie feels the tears streaming down his face, he didn’t even realize he started crying. His hand enclosed on the cool material of his inhaler, and suddenly, it seems like he can take a breath. He pulls it out fast, loosening the cap, and he feels the delighted knowing he’ll get to breath again soon.

As he takes it towards his mouth however, he stops. He can still barely breath, but for just a small moment, he thinks back of Richie. He thinks back of being in the sewer with all the losers, even though the thought of a sewer makes a shiver run through his body. He thinks back of Richie telling him he’s braver than he thinks, and throwing a spear in Pennywise’s direction to save Richie. He helped kill IT, he helped his friends.

He’s not weak. He’s not what his mother had told him he was. He’s brave.

It were sentences he had been practicing with Sarah, and Richie too. Repeating the sentences were supposed to help Eddie with his confidence and though it hadn’t done much yet, Eddie was trying his hardest to believe them.

His hand holding the inhaler started to tremble, and Eddie was struggling between his desire to overcome his fear, and the comfort he knew he would instantly receive from using it. He crouched over the sink, his hands gripping the edge of it so tight, his knuckles were turning white.

‘I’m not weak’, Eddie mumbled. ‘I’m not weak. I refuse to let you win mom. You’ve wasted enough time of my life with your illness. I’m not sick ‘, Eddie voice kept raising, seemingly without him even registering it. If he did, he would have lowered his voice straight away, he didn’t want to wake Richie up. ‘I’m fine, this isn’t asthma, and you can’t hurt me anymore you hear me? I’m in love with Richie, and you know what Ma, that’s not sick. That’s love. You couldn’t possibly know about that because you have never loved me in your entire miserable life. But he does, and you know what mom? You can’t hurt me anymore, I won’t let you.’

Eddie gulped in a breath of air, this time not because of fear, but because of exhaustion. He had been yelling at his placebo as if that was his mother, and now that he was done, he threw the inhaler in the ground, watching as it sprung apart in pieces, broken in the floor. Eddie stared at it, like he himself couldn’t believe that he had just done that.

‘Eds’, his name suddenly reached his ears, and he turned around to see who was calling his name. It suddenly seemed like he was underwater, and it freaked him out until he laid eyes on Richie. Richie looked disheveled, a shirt hastily thrown on, his hair mulled over, his glasses askew on his face. He looked worried, and he eyed the aspirator with suspicion in his eyes.

‘Are you okay’? he asked, coming closer to Eddie but stopping a few steps away. Sometimes, when Eddie had awoken from a nightmare, he needed a few moments to calm down before he allowed people to touch him. Richie had found that out on one occasion when he placed his hands on his cheeks, and Eddie clocked him in the jaw after thinking It was pennywise coming back to kill him. Eddie had of course profoundly apologized, begging Richie to forgive him. Richie had done so right after Eddie had hit him, but it took Eddie a whole month before he had trusted himself to sleep in the same bed with Richie again.

Eddie looked up at him, ‘Richie’, he croaked out, and it was only then that he realized how hard he must have been screaming. His voice sounded wrecked, and he was shaking. He hadn’t even realized it, but he was freezing cold. His legs suddenly felt to weak to keep his body upright, and he sunk down onto the floor. Richie came over to him, sitting close enough that their shoulders were touching, but not close enough like Eddie knew he wanted to be sitting.

For a while neither of them spoke. Eddie was lost in thought, staring at a point in the ground, trying to organize the ideas and words in his brain. There was so much noise, not outside or coming from Richie, which was unusual if Eddie was being honest, but from inside of him. He didn’t think he had ever seen Richie as quite as he was now, but he knew Richie was just letting him work through everything on his own, because Richie knew that Eddie would come to him on his own time.

‘I had another nightmare’, Eddie finally spoke up, and at the sound of his voice, Richie’s body sagged a little. He was clearly very happy that the silent had been broken.

‘Why didn’t you wake me’? Richie asked, his voice a little sharp with betray. Eddie understood though. He wasn’t the only one in the relationship who had nightmares, or even night terrors. Richie had them plenty, and Eddie, who had always been a light sleeper, always woke up when he did. Richie was a heavy sleeper, and he had begged Eddie to wake him up whenever he was the one that had nightmares. Eddie had promised, but sometimes it was just hard to convince himself that his problems were worth waking Richie up for.

‘I just’, Eddie sighed, he owed Richie the truth, because Richie always told him the truth too. ‘I panicked, and I couldn’t breath and I wanted my inhaler. I’m sorry, I know, I know I don’t need it, but I knew that if I took it I’d be calm in an instant. I’m sorry, I can’t believe she can still get me like this. She’s been dead for five years.’ Eddie started crying again, he didn’t dare to look up to his boyfriend, waiting for the blow he knew Richie would never give him.

All of a sudden, Eddie felt bile rising in his throat. The spaghetti they had the night before was threatening to come back up. Eddie hated vomiting, and he hated toilets, but he hated it even more if there was vomit on the floor. And he would absolutely refuse to barf in the kitchen of all places.

He shot up, storming towards the bathroom. He heard Richie call out his name, and he could hear the fast footsteps behind him, Richie was following him. He crunched down in front of the toilet, just in time. While he was throwing up, Richie placed a comforting hand on his back, rubbing circles. He felt a cold towel being pressed to his forehead, and he was so thankful for Richie being here, he cried even more.

‘Shhh, you’re working yourself up too much Eds, just breath. You’re okay’, Richie soothed. If Eddie wasn’t so busy cringing, he would have responded.

When all the food had left his stomach, he sat back up, his back pressed towards Richie’s chest. He allowed himself about five seconds, before getting up and walking towards the bathroom sink. Richie flushed the toilet, watching as Eddie brushed his teeth three times the normal amount, before he was satisfied and allowed Richie to get closer.

Richie pulled him close instantly, pressing a quick kiss to Eddie’s forehead. ‘Come on, let’s get out of here,’ Richie said, grabbing Eddie’s hand and leading him out the bathroom. He knew him so well, he knew Eddie would hate to be in the room where the bacteria would be swarming around.

Richie walked with Eddie to the edge of the bed, and he dropped down like a bloc of lead. He was so tired, but he didn’t want to sleep already, he didn’t want to end up in another nightmare. Richie walked towards the kitchen, reappearing soon after to bring a water bottle to Eddie’s bed sight.

After a mumbled, ‘drink’, Richie disappeared into the bathroom once more. This time he stayed away longer, but when he walked back into the bedroom, Eddie smelled disinfected.

He crawled into the other side of the bed, and Eddie instantly shuffled closer, laying his head on Richie’s chest. Richie’s arm wrapped around Eddie’s back, squeezing him tight.

‘I’m sorry’, Eddie whispered. He wasn’t able to make his voice sound louder, he was just so tired of fighting his anxiety’s and his mind all the time. Richie seemed to sense it.

‘You don’t have to be sorry’, Richie started, shaking his head when Eddie opened his mouth to argue.

‘You don’t. Okay well, maybe you should be sorry for not waking me up. I could think of one or two fun ways to take your mind off things’, Richie winked and laughed, and Eddie laughed right with him. Then he turned serious again. ‘For real though, you have nothing to be sorry for. You’ve been through so much, and look how far you’ve come. You’re so strong Eds, maybe I don’t say that enough, but you are.’

‘But I was going to use my inhaler again, even though I know I don’t have asthma.’ Eddie objected.

Richie shushed him. ‘But you didn’t. Sure you thought about it, But you didn’t. In fact, I’m pretty sure you were cursing at your mom in hell,’ Richie laughed. Eddie play slapped Richie’s chest, but he felt better. Not much, because his problems couldn’t just be solved with some kind words from Richie, but they certainly helped.

‘What? Didn’t deny it. You screamed almost as much as your mom did when I spend the night with her.’

‘Rich’, Eddie groaned, but a smile was ruining his angry façade. He looked back up at Richie. Looking at his eyes, his nose, his cheekbones and his beautiful dark hair. Everything about him is magnificent.

‘I love you Rich’, he says, smiling as he strokes Richie’s cheeks.

Richie quiets down suddenly. ‘I love you too Eds.’ He says it so sincerely, Eddie feels his heart overflow. Their lips meet, and every time they kiss, it feels like the very first time. When they pull apart, Eddie lays his head over Richie’s heart. Hearing it beating brings him peace, and as he closes his eyes, all he can think about is ways to ask the love of his life to marry him.

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided to post my tumblr work on here so if you want to talk follow my tumblr under the same name!


End file.
